 |
- Remember that criticism and sarcasm wound people and destroy our capacity to belong to
each other. Avoid criticism.
- Avoid name-calling and character assassination.
- Never fight when one or both of you are under the influence of alcohol or drugs.
- It is a waste of time placing blame. Since you can't unspill the milk, work at moving
forward.
- Avoid using absolutes, such as, "you always" or "you never" or
"every time." They are not true.
- Finish the fight. Even if there are tears, be sensitive, but do not walk away. Continue
the fight for your relationship.
- Do not bring in third parties. A parent, a friend, a person at work has no part in your
confrontation. The real problem is often a miscommunication.
- Stay physically close to each other. An affectionate touch helps each to know that there
is nothing that cannot be worked out in love.
- The issue under discussion is never as important as the two of you are. Being right is
not as important as being in relationship.
- Fight for clarification, not to win. If I "win" a fight then I'm sleeping with
a loser.
|
